here i am again...i guess it's been awhile since i typed anything in this doggone blog.. well.. i suppose i'll be plain today..I missed her.. i was worried about her.. I know! I know! i gotta be crazy for breaking agreed terms .. i never do that.. sometimes i guess i just can't help it. People that knew me very well almost always tell me about how simple and naive my solutions to my problems might seem. How i could laugh at big problems while small ones i go crazy over.. Call it habit, call it wierd.. but it's still there..lurking in the back of my mind untill my will weakens and my arms shake..Then my mind withers and all that's left are impulses with needs far more primal than what my mind can register..When that happens, i suppose the only thing that could stop me is a huricane or an earthquake (in which case in both cases i'll be dead..which also means no..huhu!) I guess love does that to you..I should know.. Ever since we had that talk my mind did give in.. i guess i realised a lot more than i bargained for, and i found the truth i loathed to find..What is it, you may ask? no.. i'll keep those for myself.. the only one i can reveal is the fact that i can not change the world, no matter how hard i try.. But hey.. life is no picnic and we take one baby step at a time.. I guess knowing what i didn't know helps.. and now i suppose i've changed somewhat..

Anyway, i basically started posting poetry online (plus copyright too!) recently.. i know, there's no money to be had.. but i think reading poetry and writing it is starting to grow on me..:) It's a wonder how much human emotion is poured into something as beautiful as poetry.. lines upon lines of pure feeling.. of laughter and sadness, or joy and anger, all potrayed within rhyming sentences..In proper expression, the reader can laugh or cry, as much as the writers when it was first written..it is beautiful... i remember reading this poem from an american poet regarding the art of poetry.. i can't recall it as a poem but i remember laughing about it and agree somewhat.. You can live, and grow old, feel pleasures and pain, but it's not worth the mundane, if poetry isn't in your life.. kinda cool..

I suppose it's time to sign off again.. it's already 2 o'clock in the morning.. got to get some sleep.. :) anyway.. i just wish before i sleep.. that the hurts of this world, in my life or others are healed better when i wake, and that when it is time the pain will be gone, and the sun will shine all the brighter.. Especially for my honey, to whom i dream endlessly.. Just hold on.. and do contact me if you will.. i do not think anyone should be lonely.. :) cheers for the new year!

For those times when we wish smiles are desperately needed in this world... :)